August 13, 2009



what is it? is it being there for that person when they need someone to talk to? is it riding out with them when the shit hits the fan, being right there as their support and confidant, pumping them full of positivity and yet maintaining balance by releasing some air with realness?

or is it physically being there, physically supporting them through everything- every game, recital, activity, area of life, event, etc?

is it taking the heat in order to be with them and there for them?


or is it a combination of all three- a solid combination of all of the above, a conglomerate that create the deepest relationships that time and distance never affect?

life teaches you a lot about yourself every day.

I've been a bad one.
So i answered that question by looking at my parents...they've been physically mentally and spiritually there at all times...they've hauled ass to get to my events and be physically present, they've lost energy and spent millions of hours mentally stimulating me, feeding me every lesson they possible have in their reservoir of knowledge. and through both of these things, they have always been spiritually present in my heart. they are my spirit.

mind, body, and soul.
without one, the others lose strength or are nonfunctional.

with my friends, i try to always be there for their mind. i call myself the 'clutch' friend- i'm not always there when you call but im always on time. i will be the one that takes 4 hours the night before a final to talk to you about an issue. i.ll wake up at 3 in the morning to dissect problems and situations, because i genuinely care about my friends and their wellbeing. i you send me an SOS or 911 text, I WILL BE THERE. we could have not spoken for years, but as soon as im alerted, i am right there without questions or fail. because if you are my friend, i love you. point blank, period. and if u are my friend, i know that you would do that for me, which is what i need and appreciate most from my friends.

here's the glitch in my matrix. as someone put it tonight, im inconsistent. i have had boyfriends who played sports, and i would be late to their games (one thing i am consistant w/ is my arrival time: late lol). a lot of my friends don't see me because i'm doing this or doing that. and that affects many of those relationships. interesting though, the closest ones, for some reason, it doesnt. my best friend somehow understands that if i dont see him all summer, he can come over and spend the night whenever he wants. (but exception spotted- because for my bffl's events, i am there no questions asked).
my closest friends at school are basically the same way- i love seeing them and spending time with them, but even if i don't i know that they are there for me and vice versa. i support them as much as possible, for any big gigs.

and by boyfriends, the ones that i have loved or consider my partners- they're different. that's a physicallity that is needed. not even on a sexual tip, but i need them there, i want to be with them, i loveee being with them.

maybe this comes into play when the afforementioned are alligned. but i've never thought about soul connections when speaking about friends. that's usually relationships but im sure it still applies to friends. those incredibly deep and unbreakable realtionships that even death can't erase. i guess my best friend is like that. and parents exemplify that also.

so i need to start working on that body aspect.
because it too is crucial.

July 5, 2009

a new day....

wow...last post was April 15th and it's now June crazy! its funny how much things have (and haven't) changed since that last post...

summer 09 has been interesting so far...think i may get back to posting on here, at least more music...yea definitely more music lol....that's pretty much what i'm trying to dedicate my summer to....

so brb, when i think of something worth writing =)

April 15, 2009

Love vs. Attention- a Remix

sorry i've been is killing me .

but this has affected me so much that i had to share...
God sends His answer to your prayers and concerns in the funniest ways sometimes...He had to tell me about myself right here....

and He found the correct medium through which to do it.
funny how changing one word can change the song and it's affect.

Love vs. Attention
a remix of The Dream's Love vs. Money
by Rashad Campbell

he took my shawty
he took my girl
he took the any and everything out my world
he took my heart from me
he took my soul
i should've known money couldn't match [attention].
you cant say that i really just [ignored ya]
[over every break,you embraced me whenever i asked if i could touch ya]
quit acting like im the only one to blame
didnt hear you scream
when you were trippin off my [company]
and now im left here, to clean up your dirty laundry.

so kiss that niqqa.
hug that niqqa.
[attention] that niqqa to death.

in time you'll see the problem's yourself.

cuz when [attention's] your problem.
nothing can solve it.

cuz when [attention's] your problem.
[Love] can't solve it

[to her attention's a must]
she stays on the run.
you give her Love
she want's Attention
you give her Attention
she's back at Love

April 7, 2009


Melanie Fiona

im feeling her!

Singer/songwriter Melanie Fiona’s debut album The Bridge reveals a sweet push-and-pull between countless elements of herself. At once Canadian and Caribbean, strong and sexy, contemplative and joyous, blending the sounds of pop and soul. Despite the many moods and musings of Melanie Fiona’s debut, there is one defining element. The girl’s got soul. "The album is called The Bridge," enthuses Fiona. "It crosses the barriers between ethnicities, genres, age groups, and genders. It can’t be defined as just one thing. It’s got a soul that’s something old, yet something new." The album reflects the duality that asserts itself in Melanie Fiona’s own exuberant personality.



i know im late but AHHH!!
sooooo excited. this will help me get through the semester.

Pride & Prejudice

one of the few LitHum books that i LOVE!!

Pride & Prejudice
by Jane Austen

so instead of reading 184 pages last night, i watched the movie and read (up to page 36) at the same time. i LOVE the movie, and love this book.

it's set in the British countryside in the 1800s, and is centered around the Bennet family, and the marital woes of their 5 daughters. Elizabeth (the 2nd to eldest daughter) is the protagonist, and she is an opinionated, confident and intelligent young woman. She refuses to not speak her mind out of respect for someone's feelings or class, so her interactions with the upperclassmen (who think she is plain and inferior) are incredibly funny and bold. When two immensely wealthy (and, single!) young gentleman, Mr. Bingly and Mr. Darcy, come to town, the Bennet family is intent on having their daughters marry one of these men. At a ball, a Mr. Bingly is smitten with the eldest Bennet daughter, Jane, who is the most beautiful girl in the town. Elizabeth tries to approach Mr. Darcy,but he is a cold, arrogant man, and due to his superiority complex, he is quite short with Elizabeth and other party goers. He even insults Elizabeth while speaking to Mr. Bingly.
This party is the start of their apparently hateful relationship, but something more develops as the story goes on. As Mr. Darcy spends more time with Elizabeth, due to Jane and Mr. Bingly's growing love, a new side of Mr. Darcy comes out. This strong, proud and beautiful side is revealed as he falls for the spirited Elizabeth, and she for him.

it's quite a love story!!!
you should definitely check it out, especially the movie, because the movie is beautifully done and well acted. It does not stray far from the book at all.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy

one of the beautiful homes that they used in the movie

Elizabeth and Jane

April 6, 2009

it's the risk that i'm taking
i ain't never gonna shut you out.
i swore i'd never fall again
but this don't even feel like falling.
gravity can't begin
to pull me back to the ground again.

baby i can feel your halo.
pray it won't fade away.

Halo - Beyonce